Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
A bitchslap is in order.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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