I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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