i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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