That's intense
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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