I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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