I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize