you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize