there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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