I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
