Need sex. Gaining weight.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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