Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
