weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
