What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
