i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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