So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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