Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
