This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
