Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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