Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
