Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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