Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
