i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
