Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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