Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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