garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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