That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
