i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
