Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize