I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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