sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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