Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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