the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
