u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
