It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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