either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize