Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
