garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
