I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize