Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just found puke in my bra..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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