I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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