New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
