beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We have started to decorate penises.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize