So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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