whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize