She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize