I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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