does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize