Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
