Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
