She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
