Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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