I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
