to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize