everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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