Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need to sanitize my soul.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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