I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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