Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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