Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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