oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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