I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
