I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
