with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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